Tuesday, August 31, 2004

I see.

It's Greek for "two noculars" We thought we saw a bat in the back yard. We have some bats around and I've seen them before but today we weren't sure what was flitting around up there so I got the binoculars out. You may be aware that I own about fifteen pair of binoculars. Technically some of them are opera glasses. I picked up my primary binoculars at a garage sale two years ago for fifty cents since I had fourteen pairs that were all slightly broken in some way at the time. The former main pair is WWI vintage Zeiss but they are missing the crucial part that prevents the user from being gesto├čen im Auge. The new ones are just missing one of the rings around the front so it's easy on the eyes. They are pretty good optics in addition to having been a value and having the safety features.
Scanning for bats this evening I noticed that the big pine tree by the patio seems to be doing better since I cut down a bunch of grape vines that were climbing it. In fact, using the Baush and Lombs, I noticed that it has a disturbing number of heavy looking pine cones on it very high up. I worried about all of those cones. They're going to be all over the patio and I'll be tempted to do something about them which these days means putting them in the fireplace.
It wasn't a bat. I think it was a bird.

Rural is as rural does.

Why, yes! I do come from a small town. Why do you ask?

dateline: Chatfield

While it's nice once every five years or so to see my town in the news, I guess I wouldn't mind waiting ten years instead, when there might actually be news in my town.

Friday, August 27, 2004

From Warner Brothers to real life:

The first part is fairly straightforward, but the last paragraph gets a little freaky. I might need to go learn some more about ball lightning.

The Straight Dope discusses lightning

SUV lobbyists?

Help save SUV industry How appropriate that they are planning to portray the people that have been driving SUVs as a bunch of clowns.

Guess what happened in the news this week!

Quiz me! I guessed what happened and I got three. Bill is back from Europe, where the news is apparently hard to come by, and got one.

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Dear sirs, I am not a crank

however... The appearance of your lawn signs at a date significantly in advance of or after the conclusion of a political contest may be in violation of local ordinance.

Spank the Monkey

Really let him have it. My scores? 68,52, 522. Yes, 522 MPH.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Cavalcade of disturbing

From bad to worse in four steps
It starts off odd and gets twisted into something upsetting as you roll down the page. Thank you, some guy with a web site, for locating these and sharing.

A Dknrewl/Farlmax production

Whatever you say, NH! I saw this movie while we were sitting in the U of AZ emergency room one time. It was about as miserable as you'd expect, although far superior to Casper. I saw the VHS tape on clearance the otherday and realized that our friend Chank's font was used for the title. Very nice. So I found it on IMDB to send him a copy of the poster. You should look at the poster (not the movie!) and notice the block of credit in the lower right. Those fake names rule! These would be great names for my Black Metal band. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Record Company Executive. Please, call me Bulnhard."

Devil sign! All right! Hey. C'mon, devil sign with me, please?

I'm too gothic for my shirt Thanks to Chank sending me this link I will not be able to sleep until I listen to that Cradle of Filth song again and I still may not be able to sleep afterwards. I wonder if there is a place like Glamor Shots that helps these bands with their publicity photos.

Monday, August 23, 2004

Cans are easier to open for those with claws

Bil lingual bears reported unavailable for comment Germans are not currently on the list of suspects in the case.

Friday, August 20, 2004


What to do with that 200,000,000,000 pounds of iron you have gathering dust in the garage:

The Cunning Plan

What do they build the probe out of? What doesn't melt in the heat of the Sun? Maybe they'll talk Superman into carrying a thermometer. Or, it could be a really well designed M&M.

A Rabbi, an Aussie, and Capitan Kirk walk into the News Quiz...

Quiz me! This is a model news quiz. It has a little bit of everything except for Big Brother Africa. Sorry Bill is missing it.
I got 5.
Google is up another .73 to 101.07 right now.

Thursday, August 19, 2004

Ursa Major Badass

Bears: 36. Germans: 32.

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Dead pool sector bet available

Elmer Bernstein and Jerry Goldsmith have recently shuffled off this mortal coil. Goodbye, famous movie composers.
John Williams and Lalo Schifrin are reported still alive, but nervous.

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Another conspiracy theory nibbles the detritus

Those of you at last week's game heard that Coke switched to corn syrup during the Great Formula Switch.

Not true, says Uncle Cecil.

The Straight Dope's version.

Further bulletins as events warrent.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Video Diary

Offnen das Bier! I hate to appropriate stuff from Fark.com but this was right up my alley. Support Fark, after you see these 32 ways to open a beer.

Friday, August 13, 2004

Rick James not implicated in death of celebrity chef

Goodbye Julia Child Another great American voice. I'll miss knowing that she is out there.

Moving briskly along to the topic of the celebrity death trifecta, who's got John McLaughlin? Andy Griffith?

Very little about the Olympics but a lot of hard news to chew on

Quiz me! I got five. I should learn more about the threats facing the airlines and railways. Steve got three and Bill is currently abroad gathering information needed in future competition. If anything unlikely happens at the Danish dirigible base on his itinerary he'll be first on the scene.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Claustrophobics need not apply

The other guys take a shot Jon writes to say, "38 inch diameter? That's got to be a comfy ride. Sounds like a small culvert pipe with a slew of model rocket engines
duct taped to the back. I think the hardest part was setting up the 500
foot long by 3 millimeter wide steel guide pole."
I hope the little cellophane chute popped out at least.

Monday, August 09, 2004

Did you mean to search for: infindibulator

I did. Thanks Google pixies! One nice thing about a day home with the boys is doing guy stuff like watching five episodes of Pinky and the Brain. The down side is the number of times I took a kick, punch or football to the crotch. Let's hear it for this nice person collecting all the plots to take over the world. I told Malcom that this would give us something to do tomorrow night.

Friday, August 06, 2004

News gathered from the four corners of the world brought into sharp focus in seven quiz questions

Quiz me! I got five. Bill got four. I had heard one of these stories on the World which helped. I would like to see all of the options in #1 explored by builders.

Tuesday, August 03, 2004


I have the hiccups right now. Not the usual, once a day at 8:50, hiccup either. This is the sternum will ache tomorrow from the constant and repetitive stress hiccups. Damn. This has been going on for about twenty minutes.

Bite thee

Far better than the possum farm We just got back from several days in Jacksonville and the surrounding area of the First Coast. First of all; I admit that it was hot. I have gotten a lot of play out of the fact that coming from St. Louis I know hot like few Minnesotans can know hot but this was like the rare day on the Mississippi Valley when my friend Andy Tag would break out the phrase "it's Africa hot out there."

I was in the ocean for the first time in my life which was a beautiful thing. It was as if a part of every living thing that had ever died had gone in my mouth. I will not forget the taste of the ocean soon.

We made our way down the A1A to the St. Augustine Alligator Farm. Pretty cool stuff, about two hours worth of crocs and gators.
Now my piece of advice. If you have kids and live in or near a city large enough to have a zoo that is not attached to a gas station you should join that zoo. It is fun for the kids, highly available as a day trip. It's educational and supporting major zoos promotes conservation. Also, if you find yourself going to another major city most of these zoos have a reciprocity agreement that will allow you to take the family to the zoo for no admission fee. That's a nice way to kill a morning before your flight. Although if you find yourself in Jackksonville remember that a trip to the zoo could be a hot day of looking at hot animals.

A little stale but still readable, it's the news quiz.

Quiz me! I got four and was told to reward myself with a biscuit. Bill also got four so I hope there will not be a tussle over the tummy yummy.
My son had thought for a long time that his pen pal, Bill's son Augie, was a dog. Apparently he had come to believe that dogs could talk and write letters once they were old enough. I found out about this when he was told that that our dog, Elliot, would be turning five soon. He asked if Elliot would then be able to talk, "like Augie."