Thursday, March 31, 2005

Ah, man. That's a shame.

Goodbye, Mitch Hedberg He gets a thorough send off from the Strib and it is well deserved, though sad.


Which doctor? In other earth shattering news, Doctor Who is back and the buzz is good. It is so well recieved that the actor portraying the Doctor has quit after the first of the thirteen complete episodes for fear of being typecast.
It's been sixteen years since the last shows, I don't recall that any of that last few seasons made it over here. Maybe Sci-Fi or BBC America will pick them up along with the new ones as they have with the excellent Battlestar Galactica.
Let's have a look at the score so far. Daily shots of Angustura Bitters- 3 days of about 60. Watching Battlestar Galactica with Edward James Olmos as Adama- 12 for 12.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Haiku for you

Somebody got a fortune cookie sans fortune, wrote a haiku about it, and the struggle began.

Fortune Cookie Haikus

I've felt a bit on edge ever since I got a fortune that said "Don't waste time worrying about the future."

On the other hand:

Favorite fortunes
say "kisses kisses kisses"
Thanks to Hershey's Inc.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Mart Mart Mart Mart

Back off, discount superstore boy Damn, 10 WalMarts in 20 miles? I'll be checking that. Back in a flash...

There are ten within 15 miles of me. Let's look at the less urban hamlet of , ah, Ham Lake....

Well, according to Wal-Mart's store locator you'll have to go that extra mile, for a total of 21, to get deci-marted.

Even so, that's a lot of cheap crap readily available.

Florida, America's legal laboratory

Another chaper in the long sad story of Terri S. and our constitution

I have been advised in print and twice by radio guest experts that the best way to avoid becoming a part of this sort of public tragedy is to clearly document your wishes before something happens. As we see in this case, telling your spouse and family several times what you prefer is not sufficient nor is it ok to assume they will legally be able to decide for you. Even though we don't have a military draft you never know when your country may need your life to prove a point
So, when you do write up your document, with a lawyer, a notary, and witnesses, put it in a safe place and tell everyone where it is.

Even if I don't cover every possible scenario of life altering medical circumstance I intend to include instructions that in any state of conciousness I would like George W. Bush to kiss my ass.

Misused words

Most of these are well known; a few tripped me up.
If you've got it, flout it.

Bon mot, mal mot.

Friday, March 18, 2005


I think it would cool to understand cricket. I've tried to learn about it a couple times, but since I changed to Dish Network I don't stumble across it on tv anymore. But still, when I see an article about it I try to learn by immersion.

Then I run into verbiage like:
"Dravid was 54 not out at stumps on the third day."
"a Calcutta pitch gradually taking more turn"
"the tourists were all out for 393"
"Youhana offered no stroke to a ball from seamer Lakshmipathy
Balaji in the fifth over of play and was lbw. "

Okay, actually that last one makes sense to me, but not in a way related to sports.


Why not create a bracket system and have a betting pool with your friends?

Quiz Me!

Deuce! I was so busy fretting that I neglected my news gathering and the laundry. What was I fretting about? You tell me.
Bill got three, thanks to his stress reducing regimen. He adds,
"Relativistically good."
Yeah, I'd say the Lorenz contraction pretty well flattened me."

Thursday, March 17, 2005


As seen on Cartalk.
Counterfeit Minis

The Mini confiscated in Boston is my favorite.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

"The Smoking Gun" of Thermosensors

I'm glad he's not a veterinarian I have to fix the dishwasher. I like fixing things but I know that fixing a dishwasher is what Dante saw lawyers doing in the fifth circle of hell. Before starting my usual postmodern repair routine I decided to figure the angles.
I read through the manual five times in English and once in Espanol. Then I spent a couple of hours online looking for anecdotes, official information and other clews. Then a half hour with Kenmore waranty service and then non-warranty service getting a 65.00 quote on just having a tech out to do a diagnosis. Parts and labor were undetermined but certain to put me into the new dishwasher zone.
Due dilligence completed I was braced for action. I started deconstruction from the bottom up. The second piece I took off had the secret instructions marked "for repair technician only" in a plastic envelope taped to the inside of it. Page three contained the box explaining my precise issue and solution.
So I went looking for the part and found this guys site. He loves to fix appliances. I am adding it to the links list over on the right there. The Oregon weather report with each entry is a bonus.

Monday, March 14, 2005

For whom the toll...ah forget it

I'm retiring my paintball gun I still think that it is institutional oppression of the working poor but I have found one benefit to the toll lanes on 394. I get more reasons to yell "Suckers" out the window as I cruise by in my fly carpool.
Currently a cheater, if they get caught, will pay $115. Never happens. On the new tollway it goes up to $130 and enforcement has been significantly increased, according to this STRIB article.
When I see those single drivers in the diamond lane I can still consider them cheaters but I will know that they signed up to be electronically fined by the mile for their every transgression against the all-beneficent MnDOT. Suckers. Nickels and dimes will be dripping from the tags on their mirrors increasing the weight of the 2.15 a gallon they shoulder alone. I bet they buy new release DVDs, too.
If solo drivers don't pay for their indulgences the man will paste them for $130 a stop. And he will be there, because now the diamond lane is a capitalist revenue stream instead of a tree-hugging, socalist utopia.
It's an imperfect world and the tollway is a flawed solution but if it sticks it to the brutes everyday in small amounts and ups the ante on the 1 in 5 sheer jerkfaces that are always available to try and freeride I'm a little pleased. Every time I see the law making a stop I'll be asking Renee to slow down so that I can gawk.
I hope they get Dick Day R-Owatonna, one way or another.

Friday, March 11, 2005

Quizward and upward

Quiz me! I got five including the last two. Bill got five , missing the last two. It was a titanic clash of his zoologic criminology knowlege against my pharothanatosic acumen.

Shiny hat league

Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie Scroll down for instructions, british pronunication guide and FAQ.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

An old favorite is always timely

Caps for sale! I highly recommend taking time to read the historical footnote about the British spelling. who knows? It may turn up on the news Quiz.
Tonight Malcolm and I made our AFDBs and modelled them for the rest of the family. I twisted some antennae for his since he's a baby, I thought he'd like that.

Friday, March 04, 2005

Weekly world news quiz

While the Fares's away, the rats will play (and sniff, shave, and eat.)


4. I blame those rapscallion tots.